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  Goes Back, b'y    Ask Buddy - Questions that Buddy was unable to answer

 

Sometimes even the experts are confronted with things that make them want to slam a hammer against their foreheads. The following questions to "Ask Buddy" are just those things. We call it "Questions that Buddy was unable to answer", however, Buddy calls it "I need a raise, Me son".

Dear Buddy,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

Dear Buddy,
What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my VCR?

Dear Buddy,
I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.

Dear Buddy,
I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Buddy,
I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

Dear Buddy,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a Good Christian home turn against his own?

Dear Buddy,
I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now, how do I get out?

Dear Buddy,
My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Buddy,
I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.

Dear Buddy,
Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't and he did it.

Dear Buddy,
My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her mental pause.

Dear Buddy,
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he is a doctor.


Dear Buddy:

I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month. My fiancee's mother is not only very attractive but really great and understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what we had expected it to be. When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred ...

Then she floored me. She said that in a month I would be a married man and that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave. I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactly how to deal with this situation. I headed straight out the front door...

There, leaning against my car was her husband, my father-in-law to be. He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand, and he congratulated me on passing their little test.

My question is: Abby, should I tell my fiancee' what her parents did, and that I thought their "little test" was asinine and insulting to my character? Or should I keep the whole thing to myself, including the fact that the reason I was walking out to my car was to get a condom?

 


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