You might be from a Newfoundland Outport if:
You never meet any celebrities except Buddy Wasisname.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
"Vacation" means going to St. John's for the weekend.
You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular in Toronto.
You measure distance in hours when traveling across the province.
You know several people who have hit moose more than once.
Your classes were often cancelled because of snow.
You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You use a down comforter in the summer.
Your grandparents drive at 100/km per hour through 13 feet of snow and raging blizzard without flinching.
Your social life consists of bingo, darts, cards & fishing.
You see people wear hunting clothes or jogging suits at social events.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major four food groups as moose meat, beer, fish, and berries.
You carry jumper cables in your car and you know how to use them.
There are 4 empty cars running in the parking lot at the convenience store at any given time.
You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
You think sexy lingerie is a flimsy polyester night dress.
You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
It takes 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone you knows.
You have a satellite dish with 200 channels and you watch the NTV evening news hour religiously.
You consider a snow blower a recreation vehicle.
Everyone knows a snowmobile in the back of a new truck is a sign of a well-off man.
You have your own rubber boots & ball cap for picking berries and fishing.
The town drunk has slept on your couch at least once.
The shed, barn, or boat house are acceptable places for grown men to drink & socialize.
You actually understand these jokes, smile and forward them to all your friends from Newfoundland.
