Goes Back, b'y   You Might be from an Outport

Author: UpAlong

You might be from a Newfoundland Outport if:

  • You never meet any celebrities except Buddy Wasisname.
  • Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
  • "Vacation" means going to St. John's for the weekend.
  • You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular in Toronto.
  • You measure distance in hours when traveling across the province.
  • You know several people who have hit moose more than once.
  • Your classes were often cancelled because of snow.
  • You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
  • You use a down comforter in the summer.
  • Your grandparents drive at 100/km per hour through 13 feet of snow and raging blizzard without flinching.
  • Your social life consists of bingo, darts, cards & fishing.
  • You see people wear hunting clothes or jogging suits at social events.
  • You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
  • You think of the major four food groups as moose meat, beer, fish, and berries.
  • You carry jumper cables in your car and you know how to use them.
  • There are 4 empty cars running in the parking lot at the convenience store at any given time.
  • You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
  • You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
  • Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
  • You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
  • You think sexy lingerie is a flimsy polyester night dress.
  • You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
  • It takes 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone you knows.
  • You have a satellite dish with 200 channels and you watch the NTV evening news hour religiously.
  • You consider a snow blower a recreation vehicle.
  • Everyone knows a snowmobile in the back of a new truck is a sign of a well-off man.
  • You have your own rubber boots & ball cap for picking berries and fishing.
  • The town drunk has slept on your couch at least once.
  • The shed, barn, or boat house are acceptable places for grown men to drink & socialize.
  • You actually understand these jokes, smile and forward them to all your friends from Newfoundland.
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