Author:
Right Hon Unknown
"Welcome to Heaven" St Peter says to the newly arrived Roger Grimes.
"Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high
official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says Mr. Grimes.
"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have
you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend
eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says Mr. Grimes.
"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts
him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and
he
finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club
and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had
worked with him, everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet
him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich
at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on
lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who really is a
Very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is time to
go.
Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St.Peter is
waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit Heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with Grimes joining a group of contented souls moving from
cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before
he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose
your eternity."
Mr. Grimes reflects for a minute, then answers: "Well, I would never have
said it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off
in Hell."
So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land
covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking
up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to him and grins
menacingly.
"I don't understand," stammers Grimes. "Yesterday I was here
and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced
and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and my Friends
look miserable."
The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning.
Today you voted for us!"
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