Goes Back, b'y   Newfie Pirate and His Parrot

Author: UpAlong

So there's this Newfie pirate with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.

Trouble is, the Newfie pirate who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.

One day, it gets to be too much, so the Newfie grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT, LUH!"

But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.

Then the Newfie gets mad and he and locks the bird in a cupboard.

This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the Newfie finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran pirate blush.

At that point, the Newfie is so mad that he throws the parrot into the freezer.

For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very quiet.

At first the Newfie just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.

The bird calmly climbs onto the Newfie's out-stretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on. By the way, what did the chicken do?"

 


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